"You’ve taken a perfectly pretty girl and turned her into a painted hussy"
“Well she rather likes it” says Way, dismissively.
As a result of my previous post on some make-up artists I idolise, I ended up YouTubing and found this gem. It’s some precious footage of the master Way Bandy in action, transforming a young fresh faced model into an 80s vamp. The clip is hilarious and compulsive viewing. If you thought “Extreme makeover” was hard to watch, then turn away now.
0.09 First he starts with the eyebrow plucking. Instead of using tweezers to remove one hair at a time, which can be painful enough for most people, he uses one of those hideous revolving manual epilator things which are torture instruments. These things rip the hairs out at the roots in an excruciating twisting motion ensuring maximum pain.
0.25 Oh, look at those huge tears! And he’s only just started.
0.35 Catch the disdainful LOOK he gives her. I almost burst my ribs laughing
0.45 Even with the low resolution of the video, you can see how her brow area is red raw!
0.58 “…. this might sting a little bit…”
1.02 Did he say bleach?
1.03 She just shit a brick.
1.05 She’s desperately trying to hold back the tears. “Close your eyes….”
1.15 On top of her irritated freshly plucked skin, he applies bleach! For two whole minutes, she sits there with hydrogen peroxide on her liberally applied to her skin. BURN BABY BURN. Talk about adding fuel to the fire.
1.26 Ripping and burning is not enough sadism for the brows. Way now gets out a rough bristled densely haired brow brush and forcefully brushes through her brows which must feel like rubbing sandpaper over a grazed knee.
1.30 “….. dig in and see what you get. Scratch the surface and what do you get? More surface.” Well stop digging at her skin then!
1.47 There’s no respite. Way furiously and aggressively tightlines the inner rims of her upper eyelids with black eyeliner as she’s welling up in pain and irritation. There’s as much make-up falling into her eye as there is going on the eyelid! (Reminds me of the scene from “A clockwork orange” where they force Alex’s eyes open during his brainwashing sessions).
1.56 She looks like she’s about to burst into tears.
1.57 The bearded man nervously asks “Where’d she go?” and is obviously uncomfortable at being a participant in this torture session.
2.02 The first smile from the victim! Despite the tears and pain, she is starting to see the sex goddess emerge in the mirror and she likes what she sees…..
2.10 More tears are mopped. How dare she! She might ruin the make-up!
2.20 Does this man never tire? He gets out a metal eyelash curler. Let’s hope he didn’t clamp her eyelids with them for fun.
2.27 LOOK at those juicy plump red lips. I can’t help but fear that he’s rubbed snake venom into them.
2.44 Wacka wacka wacka. Music change. Uh oh, there’s no turning back now.
2.50 Where has the freshly scrubbed innocent faced girl gone? In her place is now a sexy android who belongs in the Human League.
3.17 “You’ve taken a perfectly pretty girl and turned her into a painted hussy.” Beardy sounds TERRIFIED.
3.28 Who needs a stylist when Way’s in the room? He gets busy tarting up an ordinary blouse into a hooker’s outfit fit for the disco.
3.48 What 80s clip is complete without the big hair? Check out the completed hussy blouse.
4.24 SHE LIKES IT! SHE LIKES IT! Despite all the pain, it’s clear that the hussy is now in control. Look at the way she’s posing and gazing at herself in the mirror.
3.58 Transformation complete. She’s been turned from the Virgin Mary into the Whore of Babylon with nary a straight man in sight.
4.01 Look at those eyes. She has been possessed. Suddenly all the insanity and pain makes sense.
4.13 Look at the way she’s moving. Never mind making love to the camera, she’s deep-throating it. Where’d she pick up all those porn star face poses from??
I do love the transformation and the finished result, although I realise that the look probably won’t appeal to most people as it’s very heavy 80s make up, sculpted and editorial. But those terracotta contoured cheek bones, shaped eyes and juicy cushiony jelly coloured lips are perfection.
“A session with him is close to $1000 and a painful privilege”.
La douleur exquise.