REVIEW: OPI Nail Envy Soft and Thin
Growing up, the beauty press coverage I saw in magazines was all about fawning unfulfilled claims for lacklustre substandard products which promised the world and delivered precious little. Then the internet happened and consumers and beauty addicts fought back spitting out uncensored horror stories of runny mascara, blotchy foundations and pure unbridled vitriol for that travesty of a mascara known as Maybelline Great Lash. Thanks to Makeupalley, Paula Begoun, YouTube and Beauty Bloggers, we are getting real life stories about how people actually get on with products once they’ve got home, sobered up, and actually slathered the £200 moisturiser on their faces.
Yes I am a beauty addict, yes I fall in love with a different cosmetic product everyday but I hate as I love. I dwell on the disappointments and carry a grudge for every crummy crappy product that I’ve had the misfortune to spend my money on.
Step forward OPI Nail Envy Soft & Thin.
I have nothing good to say about this product. Sorry, no build up or suspense this time. Craaaaaaaap. Baaaaad. Ruuuuuubish. Shiiiiiite.
I have soft thin peeling nails by nature. They will grow to within 1-2 mm of the free edge and then start to flake and peel. I wear gloves for washing up and housework and I don’t do gardening or exposure to the elements. True, I only put on hand cream sometimes and could probably do with lubing up with cuticle oil more often but overall my nails lead a life of leisure so their pathetic structure is down to genetic bad luck.
Even the best nail polish only lasts max 2 days before it starts to chip as my nails will bend and cause flaking. Despite professional manicures, base coat and top coat my nails are not the best in show. The only time I’ve ever had luscious talons were when I had silk wrap extensions for a glorious 2 weeks.
I first became aware of OPI Nail Envy on the home shopping channel QVC. I love me some QVC and I love love love me some Alison Young. She’s QVC’s in-house beauty guru and that woman could sell the bible to the Gideons. She sounds sincere and knowledgeable, manages to overcome the fact that she’s peddling 500 competing different products (most of which do the same thing), and she sells warehouses full of crap all whilst having the flattest hair and the most generic appearance a middle aged middle England woman could have.
I watched mesmerised as Alison waxed on and waxed off about OPI’s Nail Envy. It was a nail strengthener, a base coat, the miracle your lacklustre nails had been waiting for! Get it on Q-cut, get it on 3 month’s interest free payment, get another for a friend but for godssake just get on the phone and frickin’ get the thing NOW!!!
I actually didn’t get it that day but it stuck in my head and the next time I was in Sally’s (a trade beauty supply store) I found myself lingering near the OPI stand. I already knew and loved OPI’s nail colour range so what with those good associations and Alison Young’s brainwashing ringing in my ears, I picked up a bottle of Nail Envy Soft & Thin.
I had already walked into the first trap. Nail Envy Soft & Thin is NOT Nail Envy.
It is a variation, a bastardised, short-straw mutant not worthy to carry the OPI Nail Envy banner. I have since found out that the original Nail Envy is very good and highly thought of in the nail care world. Alison Young had been flogging the original and not the crap I bought. In my puny little brain, I thought a product designed for soft and thin nails would be good for soft and thin nails.
Nail Envy Soft & Thin is a clear thin textured paint-on nail treatment which is supposed to fortify and strengthen the nail. It’s so thin it has an almost watery texture and is much thinner than that of a standard nail varnish. Application instructions say apply 2 coats initially then an additional coat daily for a week, then remove the lot and reapply. I did.
What happenned is that the crap starts to flake off and crackle a few hours after initial application. The finish it leaves is very natural and smooth. It’s slightly shinier than my natural bare nail but nowhere like the high shine finish of a standard clear varnish. I happen to actually like this finish. But it doesn’t adhere or stay on long enough to do anything other than irritate me. Yes, I did apply it to a clean oil free nail bed (wiped with an oil-free nail varnish remover). But it’s just a bunch of crap.
I persevered for 2 months, I’m not a quitter. See the photo, I had given it a fair go. But it made no difference. Pure shite.
The saying goes, if you love something set it free. I say if you hate something then toss it half-used into the trash.
OPI, please rename this product OPI Nail Pity.